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| Corbin Bernsen with his mother, Jeanne Cooper |
"An abundance of prayers needed this morning, mom has been taken back to hospital," Bernsen wrote. "Not sure what to pray for at this point or what we even want for her. I know in my heart there is more for her to do in this world, but I also know there is a season for all things. I want more than anything comfort for her. I want her to have peace. This is that tricky place where you start to weigh all things, not what we need to do, actions to take, but instead open ourselves for enlightenment as to what God has planned for her and ultimately what is best for her. She's a fighter and I know she'll continue that. But when you're boxer is in the corner, bruised and bloodied from battle and demands to keep going, what do you do? I'm saying my prayers this morning, asking for guidance. Again, not reporting 'the end' here, just that tricky place at the precipice and those moments requiring deepest reflection."
Bernsen later tweeted: "Back in hospital with mom. Need some heavy lifting prayers 4 what we R facing. Tough choices"
Cooper was released from the hospital on April 27.
She has played Katherine Chancellor on Y&R since 1973.
UPDATE #1 (Wednesday night, May 1):
Bernsen: "Purgatory. Best way I can describe an indescribable day. Waiting... with swings toward the Peace of Heaven and the Fires of Hell and everything in between. And choices. Choices I never wanted to be faced with. Highs and Lows. At one point mom 'left the building' - yes, she was gone, only to come back through the front door, kicking and screaming. A Doctor remarked, 'I've been in this situation a thousand times before and have NEVER seen this!' The fighter is out of her corner, amazing us all. Okay, enough with descriptive BS... Long story short, rough, rough day. She's back to square one. I don't want to disclose at this point the specific 'illness' though I'm sure many of you are curious. But I don't want a thousand comments about that. Not at this point. In time I will share it all. Just know that she is back in critical condition and needs your continued prayers. As for me. Honestly, I'm a bit lost, in this place - this purgatory - of truly being unsure where we are headed or what is best for her. I also toil with my choices and wonder if they are for me, for all of us... or truly for her. I'm in a haze of uncertainty about that and will be reflecting on it this evening, praying for guidance. In my heart, I see future, I see a fight and though I don't know the quality of that future I can't deny the sanctity of life. A tremendous battle raging inside. I wish I could have better news, or simply be more clear, but these words are a reflection of my state of mind. God Bless you all for your kindness here."
UPDATE #2 (Thursday morning, May 2):
Bernsen: "Woke up to beautiful sunshine this morning. Rays of hope. I'm leaving mom's journey truly in God's hands now. I slept well last night and at least for the moment, am at peace. And that's all I really want for her, either way. In my heart, and I think I'm being unselfish - I think - I do believe there is more for her here, on this earth, in this part of her longer journey. I don't know what it is or why, perhaps just a continued fight for some time to show us all the power we have to make a difference... or maybe simply to encourage me to write about that, share that... our individual power to bring change. For me, the world is suffering right now, and it is only through us, each of us; parents, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, and expanded communities of a variety of beliefs, faiths, and political agendas, that when we call on our deepest individual strengths as human beings - like my mom is doing now, hanging on, fighting - that we can come together for the common cause, and perhaps bring remedy to our suffering. Personally, while my faith is clear and has been made clear here, I welcome all into this challenge and conversation. Without judgement. With love. Maybe that is the point of all of this. That is indeed my mother and the lessons she taught me and is now, at the greatest cost, showing me one more time."
"Which leads to another concern. I also am feeling a bit selfish this morning. So many of your comments have been about going through things like this personally, today, as we speak. Either yourselves or with a parent or loved one. And here I am, going on about me, me, me. Blah, blah, blah, as someone put it last week. I'm sorry for that, and I want you to know, as I've often remarked here, that when I pray for mom, I always include all of you in my thoughts. I don't speak about it here much, reserving the already lengthy space to my personal situation, but it is in my heart. My mother taught me many years ago that we are all connected, my problem is your problem, your problem is my problem. We are inescapably connected through our humanity. So please know, you are not neglected and I feel for you as though you and your situations are indeed mine. Peace to us all, love to us all, God Bless us all. Going to walk the dog now and breath some fresh air."
UPDATE #3 (Thursday night):
Bernsen: "Tested today. My faith, my strength, my very beliefs. End of life sucks. It's a terrible thing. I don't know many cases of 'grandma went off peacefully in her sleep.' Instead it seems more often it's a battle, a fight to go beyond our expiration date. And maybe there's the problem, one we create. Pushing the limits. I asked God many times today, why. Why would you give us this incredible life and end it so miserably? Okay, yes, there is more beyond this life, and I do believe that, but why end "this" one so in opposition to the beauty you have created? I"m praying for enlightenment on this. I think I understand it, but it's not clear."
"Please know that I'm not saying my mother's life has ended, it hasn't, but no matter how you slice it, she is in the final stages, whether it lasts an hour, day, month or years. I had to say 'goodbye' to her tonight 'just in case' as I'm traveling tomorrow to Vancouver for Psych. I have prayed for her recovery - some sort of recovery - and earlier this week got a hint of it. But then I saw her tonight, connected once again to so many tubes and machines 'healing her.' And there is a difference - yes they are keeping her alive just as antibiotics would do for an infection - but they are more or less there to help in her short term recovery. Is she in a natural decent toward the end? Not sure. Is there a future? Not sure? And if so, what kind of future? Even less sure."
"So I said my goodbyes tonight, had a good release of emotion and then left the room, more uncertain than I have ever been about so many things. I wish I could be more positive for you tonight, but I reserve the right in this space to be plain, simple and honest. I know it's only in that realm that I will find the answers I'm looking for right now. I love you mom. I'm giving it up to you and God to find peace in this world or the next."
UPDATE #4 (Friday morning, May 3):
Bernsen: "Heading to Vancouver for a new season of Psych. As you can imagine my stomach is somewhat in knots. But know that your kind words and abundance of love for both myself and my mother have helped me through the night and into today - and to some degree - in letting go. 'Let go, let God' my mother often says. That is my battle right now. Maybe soaring in the clouds this morning will help, I often closer to my faith up there, above the bounds of earth. The funny thing about what's going on with my mom is that, while she is gravely ill, and at an advanced age, and will certainly be less of what "she was,' nobody has come out and said flat out that she is eminently terminal. Some of these things can be overcome and that's why I've been reporting on these miraculous turns. That is the metaphoric 'Purgatory' I spoke about yesterday, that place of between here and there, waiting for the hand to swing one way or the other pointing us in a certain direction. All the while, the efforts to even overcome the current obstacles are so... intrusive, horrifying, that I'm not sure about the battle. Again, metaphorically - the boxer still has fight and a potential to win (for the short term only - his title will certainly be taken away sooner or later), but he's still there sitting in a corner, bloody, unrecognizable, and his will to come out swinging isn't diminished. That is what it's like. So letting go, is more difficult. Unless, and I just came to this through this writing... hmmmm. is that "letting go" is letting go of all of it! Wow. I'll take to the air and somewhere above the clouds think on that. Again, I can't tell you how much I love you guys for being here for us and your generosity."
UPDATE #5 (Friday night):
Bernsen: "In Vancouver, not much to report. Fun to be back at Psych with a minor distraction from the realities and frailties of life. In a bit of a fog, unsure of so many things today. Aching. Exhausted. I would only ask that you continue your prayers for my mom, she needs all of it. Don't worry about me, time will wash this one way or the other. I have an incredible wife and four amazing sons. I have a brilliant brother and sister and their children. We have a family. We will be good. So today, through the weekend, please, all your love, thoughts and prayers for my mom and peace for her. I can't help but feel there is more for her, but also am aware that perhaps this is a selfish wish on my part to have more of her in this world, to finish conversations, to make up for time that I "should have" spent. I just don't know. Please let her know in your prayers that if she wants to let go, she does so with an abundance of love giving her the wings to soar. And if she wants to remain, she does with an abundance of love giving her the support she needs to accomplish what she feels needs to be finished here, on this earth. I wish I had a joke right now, could use a good joke. Tired of sounding morbid and introspective. Maybe Iron Man 3 and my buddy Downey can help me escape. Worth a try. A little popcorn never hurt anyone."
UPDATE #6 (Friday overnight/early Saturday, May 4:
Bernsen: "Clearly from my messages you all must realize the situation, and that what I had hoped and prayed for - more time - may just end up being the brief moments I had with mom earlier this week. I asked God for time, I got it and tried to fill it with as much love and laughter as I possibly could. Sitting in a movie tonight, mildly distracted from it all, I got a call from my brother and he said we have to stop being unfair. She's struggling too much. We have to let her go. I took it in, calmly, and walked back into the theater, finished the movie - Darn good Iron Man 3. I then went back to my hotel room, where I am now and broke down, conceding any fight I had left. I don't want her in pain. I don't want her in fear. I don't want her in agony. And Jeanne Cooper, Katherine Chancellor, Wilma Jeanne is a fighter! She will kick ass as long as we let her but I know now it is only for us, not for her. I had to think back sitting in her bedroom several days ago... she pointed to several objects, paintings, telling us their 'value.' Not much really but SHE WANTED US TO KNOW. I think she knew she was ready then, to let go. But she needed to test us to see our reaction - My reaction! Of course I immediately said, 'not ready to go there mom,' demonstrating exactly what she suspected; that I wasn't ready quite yet. So she hung on. Went another round. The boxer pleasing the team in their corner."
"I said goodbye to her yesterday, and even then not fully meaning it or expecting that would be the last time I saw her. But now it will have to do as we enter this weekend letting her final voyage begin. And I'm good with it, honestly. Enough to be saying it here. You all have been a tremendous ear for me, to verbalize my struggles with all of this... even now with these very words... I am good. I am good. I don't want her in pain. I don't want her in fear or agony. Along with her tremendous success she's had too much of all that in her lifetime. And she's shared much of it with all of you, candidly. So I'm giving her this weekend, take the holiday, mom, make it yours, let it take you where it will. My final words to her last night were, 'I'll see you again.' And I will, either here or there. Prayers please for her safe and peaceful journey. I may take a break here for a bit and stay silent in prayer and mediation for the next few days... Then again, I am my mother's son and staying quiet isn't always an option. May the light of God grace shine upon us all this weekend. Make it about love, compassion, and honesty, and in doing so you will honor my mom and the examples she has always tried to set, to this very moment."
UPDATE #7 (Sunday afternoon 5:10 p.m. ET, May 5):
From the family of Jeanne Cooper: "We have been read some articles that report Jeanne as having passed away. And while it is true that she is indeed still in the hospital and undergoing care, she is still with us and we are grateful that she is. We do not yet know what the future holds, but that is the nature of life. We know that updates have been less frequent, but that is because we are focusing all of our energy on her at this time. We continue to thank you all for your love, support, and prayers. Thank you! Love to all!"
From Eric Braeden: "Contrary to some statement, Jeanne Cooper is doing better and sitting with her daughter Caren by her bedside!!"
UPDATE #8 (Sunday late night, 11:45 p.m. PT):
Bernsen: "I had promised to stay silent for a bit but I feel it is necessary to make sure all know that a RUMOR of my mom's passing earlier today that had been spread by someone on Twitter is false! I want to confirm: This is NOT TRUE. I'm not going to elaborate on mom's status beyond this - she is still very much with us. Period. I vowed to give my mom and God the time and space - 'a holiday from all our personal needs and feelings' to work through this quietly, together and I will continue to do that here now - respectfully. You can be assured that I will continue to be truthful with you as I have been from the beginning regarding her condition - the good, the bad and the ugly at the right time and place. Please trust that. Rumors will fly in our tabloid hungry - rush to conclusion society, and part of my connecting with you here is to make sure we are all respectful of this incredible woman, and her present journey, wherever it takes her. I will close in saying that I've had a remarkably peaceful weekend, once again made possible by a million comforting words of inspiration, prayer, and love from all of you. It was an extraordinarily beautiful weekend here in Vancouver and I walked quite a bit, listened to music, and reveled in the abundance of beauty in Nature - perhaps the easiest way to know the heart and face of God. I was comforted by my Psych cast mates, the most loving group of people I could have hoped to be surrounded by. We had some fine laughs. Always good for the soul. Lastly, I did lash out the person spreading misinformation today, I was upset, understandably. I know my mom would be the first to say, 'let it go,' make peace. So I offer that before I head off to sleep. The pillow is much softer in doing so."
UPDATE #9 (Tuesday night, May 7):
Bernsen: "Many have asked for an update on mom's condition. In short, it remains the same. She is resting, she's in peace and in no pain. Where it will lead is now fully in God's hands and we have given over to that, to Him and his plan for her. But she is still with us on this side of the thin fence that separates us from our earthly body and the great mystery and magnificence of the hereafter. Honestly, all I want for her is comfort and to know the abundance of love that surrounds her. She knows of each of you and your prayers. I whispered to her today of the great love and affection you send her way. She is a beacon whose bright light will not easily fade away. She is a boxer who will not easily give up. So we wait for her to do things on her terms... as if it were ever anything but that!"
UPDATE #10:
Sadly, Jeanne Cooper has passed away.
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